LADIES,WE CAN BE VERY INDEPENDENT AND SUBMISSIVE!

I to believe that being independent as a woman have nothing to do with money. An independent lady is someone who doesn't require anything else to fulfill her sense of self; she is confident in her own life and constitutes a complete person regardless of whether she is in a relationship. BEING INDEPENDENT IS A MINDSET!! Woman that uses their ability to pay their own bills as a definition of independence seems quite silly to me. That is what you are supposed to do as an adult! When a man sees you, meets you, and sees how you carry yourself he will know you have it together and can take care of yourself. Let's stop telling men we can pay our own bills. He already knows that! Announcing it is unattractive and unnecessary. We do not need to validate constantly ourselves to make men know we can take care of ourselves without them. Men do not want to fall in love with our degrees, cars, connections etc. Defining ourselves by our looks, career, connections and college degrees are very shallow. They can either fade away or b wrestled from our grasp in the blink of an eye. We should define ourselves by whom we are inside because that can NEVER be taken away from us. Gaining financial independence is a very wonderful thing but most of us ladies tend to leverage it for egocentric reasons. Usually with our financial status we develop better on my own attitude (which can be VERY UNPLEASANT) and we tend to think there are certain things we cannot do for a man, who is now somebody else's. Some "independent women" say they cannot cook for a guy…seriously? Some think it makes them vulnerable or better put as "trying too hard"! Please ladies, its just feeding another soul and nothing more!!! It doesn't take anything away from you. Money is not everything!! Even American express card recognizes there are some things money cannot buy (Get a $100 dollar bill, then ask it to keep you company, to talk to you about your problems, to share a special moment with you and to fix your car and the sooner we get that fact straight, the sooner we can have healthy/happy relationships. Being submissive plays a big role in our roots in African. It was part of our cultural background as well as our values, but over time we lost that and for that reason I accept as truth that's why a lot of our homes are broken up. The black family in America is really destroyed thanks to a lot of us being brainwash to believe, “We run the world”…Beyonce. Really?  Being submissive doesn't make anybody less of an independent woman, in fact, it adds to who you are. We mistake submission for a weakness…it isn't. Submission doesn't mean being dumb or doormat! Being submissive is a choice u make. You do not just become a doormat or a mouse and call yourself submissive - no, no, no! Submission requires strength of character, a firm knowledge of your wonderful place as a woman, and (pardon the expression) guts. It's no job for a weakling. It takes a strong woman to yield willingly to the leadership of another of higher authority. And do not forget, this authority has been vested in a man by an even Higher Authority. The subject is not open for discussion or debate! When you submit to a man, you agree with follow his leadership. You want just submit to any man anyway, HE HAS TO PROVE TO BE A WORTHY LEADER!  I think a legitimate test for a man who is worth of your submission is this: Does he try to maximize my potential, does he wants the best for me? If he fits the bill, submission should come easily.  I understand many of us ladies take it to the extreme of being independent because in our society, financial clout is intricately linked to respect, but that doesn't mean that it requires us to be bitches and disrespectful to our men to maintain our success. To my brother you must understand that we need our men to support us - not to take us for granted, or punching bags, or doormats. We need you to celebrate also our successes, and support us through our trials and tribulation. Most of all you need to respect us and what we have become, in a man's world. You men must know that we DO want to be submissive, were just not sure if we can trust you to lead. Ladies, we can be very independent and submissive…the two aren't mutually exclusive.